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| Press Archive > Salma on her lifesaving work (and brand-new baby) |
Published in: Glamour (US) - April 2008
Written by: Eve Ensler
The first time I met Salma Hayek was in 2002, when she performed my play The Vagina Monologues at a benefit for my antiviolence movement, V-Day, at Harlem’s Apollo Theater. She was utterly terrified, and I was worried that the stage fright would paralyze her. Of course, the minute she walked out onto the stage and began performing a monologue called “My Short Skirt,” she brought the house down. What I remember about that performance are her legs, which were sexy and strong, and her accented voice, which was deep and commanding. Her energy was red-hot. It occurred to me that night that everything about Salma Hayek was “V”: voluptuous, vivacious and victorious. She is a person who leaves Mexico at the height of one career to begin another in the United States; who takes a risk producing Ugly Betty only to have it become a breakthrough television phenomenon; who grows her eyebrows and actually becomes Frida Kahlo; who says that she loves to wake up to watch her roses grow early in the morning. Glamorous and rugged, cutting-edge and totally traditional, she’s a fiercely feminine feminist. And now she is a mother. The same intensity and imagination she has brought to her art and her life, she now brings to her daughter, Valentina.
In the six years since that night at the Apollo, Salma and I have forged a friendship out of our mutual commitment to making the world safe for women and girls. It’s a friendship that has taken us around the world; we have stood together, spoken out together, cried together and had each other’s backs. On the tenth anniversary of V-Day, I sat down with Salma in the kitchen of her Los Angeles home to talk about her new role as mom to Valentina (whom she breast-fed while we spoke), her long-distance relationship with her fiancé, François, and our shared dedication to eradicating violence against women.
EVE ENSLER: You’ve been such a huge part of this movement. How did you come to care so deeply about the issue of ending the abuse of women and girls?
SALMA HAYEK: When I was 18 I had a friend who was so cool. She was a straight-A student, sophisticated, studying architecture in college, someone I really looked up to. I was convinced she would become the president of Mexico. Then she fell in love, and this strong, knowledgeable girl became a victim of abuse. It shocked me to see how she got into the cycle and how it stole her soul away. That’s when I realized it could happen to anyone.
EE: Has it ever happened to you?
SH: Not personally. But the first time I saw domestic violence firsthand was when I was in Mexico, taking a walk with my family, and we came upon a man beating up this woman. My father intervened and fought the man and won. I remember thinking, Oh my God, my father is a hero. Then the woman turned around and started beating up my father. I couldn’t comprehend what was happening. After that I became very intrigued with what makes a woman stay in an abusive relationship: How does her spirit break?
EE: So, tell Glamour readers more about your specific role in V-Day.
SH: In the six years I’ve been involved, I’ve seen V-Day grow from a play into a movement. I have performed monologues in many V-Days and am now a board member, helping to raise money and consciousness at fund-raisers. I am involved because I want women to know, in their dark hour, they are not alone. When they think nobody loves them or they’re disposable, or that it’s OK to die under those circumstances because they’re not important, I want them to know people care.
EE: Talk a bit about the connection between art and activism.
SH: Art and activism seem to go together naturally, the idea being that if you’re an entertainer, you can have a voice, and if you have a voice, you can make a difference. But if I were not an actress, I would still try to extend myself beyond my little micro-universe of my job, family and personal joy. I think that it’s important for every single person, no matter what they do in life, to participate in the well-being of humanity and the planet. Don’t let a year go by knowing you didn’t make an effort to do something—no matter how small—outside your own problems and drama.
EE: Over the years I’ve watched you evolve from a free, independent young lady into a mother and family woman. How have you handled that transition?
SH: I believe that change keeps you young. I’m a late bloomer; I always have been. I’m 41, and I know a lot of women think that this is the time when you start getting depressed. To that I say, “No, no, no, no, no!” I’m having the best time of my life.
EE: Why?
SH: The best thing that’s ever happened to me is this thing that has happened to so many women, which is having a baby. Every second is magical, every smile. I cannot get enough of it, because I am not sitting here thinking, What am I going to do with my life? I’ve already established my career. I think it’s very good to have a child at this age. I’m in a great place.
EE: How has having Valentina changed you as a woman?
SH: I don’t remember very well who I was before. Part of me feels like it’s so new and so strange to have a baby, and part of me feels like I’ve known [her] face forever. Somehow I am really relaxed within the chaos of having a baby—and anyone who’s a mother knows it’s very hard to relax, because there is so much to do and worry about! I just feel so fortunate to be her mother, and it makes me excited about the rest of my life, because I will get to witness her transformation every day. I feel I was born to have this girl.
EE: A lot of women say that giving birth made them aware of how powerful they are. Do you feel more powerful?
SH: I really embraced pregnancy. I enjoyed it. It came to me and I said, “OK, this is where I go now.” I had diabetes while I was pregnant. I became huge. And I said, “This is what it takes for me to have this baby, and I really want it.” Then you don’t know if it’s going to be healthy; you are completely out of control. So the experience really makes you humble.
EE: What has surprised you most about being a mother?
SH: Well, I have to confess something—I wanted a boy.
EE: Really?
SH: At the beginning I did. Probably because I was afraid. I think women suffer a bit more than boys, and there is always conflict between mothers and daughters. But now that she’s here, I’m so happy she’s a girl. And I can’t imagine there ever being conflict between us, because I’m in a state of innocence where I love everything she does. If she does a poop and I have to change the diaper, I love that moment!
EE: And how has François [-Henri Pinault, Salma’s fiancé] reacted to Valentina’s arrival?
SH: He warned me from the beginning that he gets very nervous when babies are so little—he thinks he’s going to break them! But he plays with her, sleeps with her, loves her, kisses her. He’s not obsessed like me. But he’s had two before!
EE: Now, I know you and François live in two different parts of the world. [Pinault lives in Paris, where he is CEO of the European conglomerate PPR, which owns Gucci, Balenciaga and Yves Saint Laurent, among other fashion houses; and Hayek lives in L.A.] How does this work? To me it’s a very appealing situation.
SH: To most women it’s crazy. But every relationship is unique, and in order to make it work you have to be willing to listen—not only to your partner, but to the relationship itself. You have to be brave enough to say, “This is who we are: We might not look like the perfect couple, or like our parents did, but this is our love story.”
EE: Do you wish you could be together more often?
SH: Wishing is a good thing. But wishing you could be together more is so much better than wishing you could get the hell away from someone. [Laughs.] François is very generous in his respect for me: He not only gets out of my way, but he’s completely supportive. He pushes me in the right direction. He challenges me with a sense of humor. I feel lucky to have found a man who is so smart and successful in his own right, so there is no competition between us. He understands I was happy and had a great life before I met him.
EE: What about marriage—is that something you care about?
SH: Right now I am just enjoying my baby. Do I think we are going to get married? Probably. Will it make a difference? I hope not. I don’t have a need for marriage. You want to grow old with someone, you want to have a partner and to have children—we have all those things. Some people need the commitment. Maybe we’ll just make the party!
EE: When I heard that the baby’s name was Valentina, you know I was happy because she was a V baby.
SH: [Laughs.] I thought about you, Eve.
EE: Ten years from now we’ll celebrate V-Day’s twentieth anniversary. What kind of world do you envision her living in?
SH: Life will always be a struggle, and we will always have to work on making the world a better place. But then, working at it is what brings people together. I hope Valentina will be much more involved than I have been, and smarter about it than I was, because she will grow up in the middle of our conversation and it will be a part of her everyday life. I will make sure she has activists and artists to talk to, and she is very lucky in that respect, because I’ve surrounded myself with extraordinary human beings in many different areas. She will grow up listening to conversations that she’ll be privileged to hear.
EE: I love that—you’re saying it’s not like the struggle is going away, but she’ll do it better than we’ve been able to.
SH: Yes. Perfection is the end of evolution. So there will always be something to work on. And what’s great is that I know she’ll be part of it.
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Penélope Cruz at PenélopeFan.com
